I am a patient at North Star Behavioral Center and I have learned so much about my diseases such as PTSD, bipolar, depression and anxiety. They are very serious conditions that many don't understand. My anxiety and depression are the worst. I really don't understand the part where i have my worst anxiety attacks when i feel more at ease. I've been woken up in the middle of the night during a sound sleep with my heart racing, feeling like I can't breath, and when i try to stand I am all shaky and feel like i'm going to pass out. It's extreme sometimes and it wipes me right out being left to feel exhausted as if i had just ran a marathon.
I believe it's my subconscious on the run without me knowing with all the stresses running through it. My fear runs high all the time as well like I really believe I am going to fail at everything I do even when I know I won't. I love writing and I think it's very therapeutic to do these blogs because i feel like i can talk about anything and there will be at least one person out there who is reading and maybe i can help them or vice versa. I come up with some weird stuff I know and use a lot of metaphors but i also know some out there will understand exactly how I am feeling and understand what I am trying to say without really coming out and saying it.
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