Is there a reason?

Is there a legitimate reason I feel the way I do? Is there a concrete message that I am being sent and not knowing or realizing what it's meant to tell me? I feel more a lone than usual and because feeling like such a failure is so over whelming. I've been feeling like this for a while now. I'm exhausted because I am always stonewalled when it comes to the business i want to start. For god sake I've been trying to get it up for two and a half years now. Every damn time I try to get hooked up with the right people and have the courage, ambition and positive thought I get slammed in the face yet again for the hundredth time. Every time I turn around there is always something that is standing in my way. Now its my car that's going to take about $1000.00 to fix. Yes my fault because I've been putting things off until I could afford to fix everything but come on now. Before i couldn't afford to buy this, I can't even sell that, you have two sheds of stuff {product} you can't sell. We have no space, you don't know how. Maybe this is the final sign? Maybe all this stuff keeps happening because maybe it isn't what i was meant to do whether I really want it or not. Whether it is my dream to own my own business and get out from under someone else trying to dictate how i should look, act, feel, dress, etc. I am angry as hell because in some way maybe this is true!!!! On the other hand, maybe I'm angry because I know it is what I want and I am struggling really freaking hard to get it. I want something meaningful out of my life. I want people to remember me as the one that helped that Boys and Girls Club, I want to be remembered as the one who took out of her days to help needy families. I want my children, my grandchildren to look back and see how hard I tried for years to build for their future and obtained and kept it. I want to hand down a family run business with good values, warm hearts, and smiles that will last forever and go down in history as such. I'm going to make this happen and no one is going to stand in my way. I'm getting really aggravated with someone or something trying to make me cave.

Peace and Love
Lucy M.